She dreamed of paradise
by Sof-LilsPotter
Summary: Rebekah Mikaelson only wishes she could go back and make better choices in her life, knowing what she knows now. But she can't. Of course she can't.


It was the third day in a row that Rebekah Mikaelson was crying at night, her head buried in a pillow.

The rest of her family had fallen asleep a long time ago and despite how late it was she couldn't find it possible to sleep. Not like she really needed it, anyway. Since she had become a vampire she could spend a lot of time without sleeping and still feel alright. But she wants to sleep if that means she can escape the pain of not having Esther with her.

She missed her Mother just_ too_ much.

They had been so close once upon a time, and now she was no longer there with her. Maybe it was losing her that made her put her mother in a pedestal even higher than before. She had lost her a month ago, a little more, a little less, and she just wanted to have her back before she missed her.

It was then when she heard footsteps. When Elijah peered in, Rebekah was soundly asleep, or so she seemed, because she was actually holding her breath. Her hand had frantically removed the tears from her cheeks and she had buried her head in the pillow once more, her blonde hair hiding her face.

He didn't enter, nor he ever said anything about it, but Rebekah knows he heard her cries that night.

* * *

Rebekah has grown afraid of Niklaus.

Everyone can see it, even herself. Maybe it's the fact that in a century he has changed a lot and he is no longer the brother she used to know. He's a vampire– No, a hybrid, only that Esther has cursed him. He's brutal, and kills without caring who it is. She still loves him with all her heart, even when he mistreats her and she still sticks with him through everything.

But she is_ terrified_ of him.

So when in Italy he discovers what she was planning to do, how because of her the family was daggered, she cries a lot. She cries while he shacks her, while he shouts at her. Worst thing is she knows he is right, that what he has done was terrible and endangered the whole family. Because of her Niklaus was in possession of the daggers that were a constant threat during the centuries, because of her Finn was daggered during nine hundred years, because of her her brothers and herself were so many times daggered. The blonde thinks she could have done something, but was too wrapped in her own wishful thoughts of marrying and having a family and being human once again.

She will carry that burden for the next thousand years.

* * *

They are in Spain when Rebekah starts really thinking about her family. She makes a lot of thinking, comparing themselves at how they were centuries ago. It's already 1305 and they have all lost most of the humanity they had left, but they are all together as a family, even Kol is now with them. However, she would dare to say Elijah is the one who still has most of his humanity.

She has turned rather ruthless, killing and learning how to make people feel real pain, Rebekah really knows how to torture people. She has learnt from her brothers and from the men she has known, some of them the worst people she is sure will even be in Earth, but of course she is wrong. Rebekah still has the face of an angel, with her golden hair and her blue eyes, and she can still be really sweet. But most of the sweetness in now faked and used with people to lure them into dark places so that she can feed from them.

It's like she used to be an angel and now turned into a devil.

Of course, when she compares herself with Niklaus or Kol she is not the worst one. Maybe the worst one is Kol, Rebekah thinks. He is terribly charming, with bright smiles and making women blush, distracting them and taking them to places where nobody would hear their screams. Yes, if someone was the devil personified, that was probably her brother Kol Mikaelson.

* * *

They are in England and Rebekah has to see how Katerina Petrova destroys the bond between her brothers.

She can't hate the girl more than she does, with that innocence and with that charm that makes Elijah fall for her. She can't kill her, though, because Niklaus has to use her as a sacrifice, so she just crosses her arms and watch how everything develops.

When she escapes and turn into a vampire, Rebekah wishes she had killed her, because now Elijah and Niklaus are truly separated. They will still be together afterwards, going to New Orleans in the 18th century and stayed there for centuries, but it's not truly the same.

* * *

It's 1919 and Mikael finally arrives to New Orleans to hunt them down. It has been a fun time, though and he has taken his time because they had been there for almost three centuries. She is still mad at Marcel for leaving her daggered for more than half a century, because she had saved his life and in return he did nothing. For a lot of time, Rebekah didn't fall in love again, not really. She only brought men home to bother Niklaus and didn't fell anything when he or Kol killed them.

She doesn't feel anything anymore. Both of her brothers have killed all the men she has ever loved (And, oh, she has loved so many with such strength), so now she feels nothing. She hopes they are happy, because they have taken the ability of loving from her, although she is wrong and they haven't.

So when Mikael shows at their doorstep, burning down the street and killing countless vampires, Rebekah runs with her brothers. Kol is daggered once again and she doesn't want to know anything about Marcel, although she thinks he died and mourns him (Because apparently, she wasn't over him as much as she thought).

So she runs for her life and doesn't look back, because she is sure her Father wants to see her dead because of being with Niklaus, and few things hurt so much as that.

* * *

Niklaus finally daggers her when she wants to leave with Stefan in 1920, in Chicago. Rebekah hates him there, more than she has ever hated him, because that's her relationship with Niklaus: hate and love all mixed up in something she can't put name to. She wants to hug him and punch him, she wants to be with him and separate from him and never see him again. She just wishes he could let her have her own life because she is not a child and wants a life of her own. But he won't. Instead he daggers her and Rebekah falls in that state of dreaming-being dead but not really, once again.

And she hates Klaus. Oh, how much she hates him.


End file.
